Sunday’s service was amazing! We heard evangelist Chuck Millhuff speak. This man is in his 70’s, been an evangelist most of his life, spoken around the world and now is the resident evangelist at our church. Still very Hollywood handsome and a very sharp dresser, I wondered what on earth this guy was going to say to us when he entered the pulpit. Daryl leans over to me and whispers, “I heard him speak a few years ago. He’s really good.”

“I’ll see for myself,” I thought. Too flashy. Too good looking for my taste. I’m so non-judgmental you know.

“I’m a donkey!” he declares right out of the box. “I’ve always wanted to be and considered myself a prancing pony. A show horse. But now after all these years I’ve realized that is sin. What God has really called me to be is a load-bearing, hardworking, service animal—a donkey.

My heart was pierced. Immediately I felt the Holy Spirit’s touch on me. It was one of the sermons that, you know, you are certain was written specifically for your situation. Daryl didn’t even hesitate or look my way. He just pulled out the old hanky and handed it over. And yes, the tears came. I almost shook convulsively.

I am a very pride-filled person. Oh, I cloak it in abject humility, but I’m prideful alright. I don’t want to be a servant donkey. I want to be the prancing pony. The beautiful show horse that everyone oohs and aahs over. I like praise and affirmation and compliments and words that assure me that I’m the greatest. It’s awful. It’s worse than drug addiction.

When I was young I had this problem. I guess I’ve had it all my life. But when I was young, I kept thinking my dues would eventually come. Sure they would. Just wait it out, keep training, keep getting more education, keep performing and eventually you’ll be the famous rock star of Christianity you always knew you were meant to be. That was when I was young.

Unfortunately, age didn’t purge me of this despicable sin, but actually has enhanced its flavor…much like aged fine wine or a good wheel of cheese. Why? Because as I’m older I realize the rock star dream is more and more unattainable. The harsh reality sets in and resentment becomes a stinky, oozing sore in my already sin-infected flesh. (Wow. That’s some allegory there sister! A little gross actually. Sorry.)

The evangelist was right. I’m called to be a donkey. A big old donkey girl. Like he said, it was a donkey that carried Jesus into the city of Jerusalem. It was a donkey that carried a pregnant Mary into Bethlehem. Also, let’s not forget it was a donkey that warned old Balaam of judgment and disobedience. It was a donkey that carried Abraham and Isaac to the place of sacrifice. A donkey serves. A donkey works. A donkey carries the load for its Master. A donkey is not flashy or fancy or prancy or considered even very beautiful. But a donkey is a symbol of humility in the Bible.

Am I content to live a life of obscurity? Am I at peace with an audience of One? Do I really mean it when I say, “To God be the glory?” Or are those just words to cloak my pride? God knows what is best for each of us. He knows what we need. And He is more concerned with me being formed in the image of His Son than with my sense of fulfillment and the realization of carnal dreams. I believe that God is more concerned with my holiness than with my happiness. And the odd thing about being formed in the image and character of Christ is we gotta die. Galatians 5:24, “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another.”

Matthew 21:5 “Tell the daughter of Zion, ‘Look, your king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey’.” I want to be a donkey. I want to be the kind of servant to my King that would carry Him into the city and all eyes be on Him and none on me. Today I’m asking the Lord Jesus to forgive me of my dreams of being a prancing pony and to allow me to be His servant donkey. I can only do it through His strength and His work in my life. Only He can transform a prancing pony wanna be to the donkey servant girl He’s called me to be. Peace.